So Much for Innocence

As a boy, I loved fat girls.  Without even realizing I loved them.

What I also did not exactly realize, or care to know, was the fact

That some people may consider those girls fat.

I didn't.  Being fat was too abstract and relative an idea for me.

Instead, I thought to myself, fondly, that they reminded me of

Animals.  Mothering mammals, like cows and pigs.

Which was very mean.  But I meant no harm, although

I know, and I also knew back then, that there was no way

I could be excused.  But as much as I ought not be excused,

weren't we all, all of us, victims of certain preconceptions?

That humans are completely different from, and superior to,

animals--above all, to cows and sows.

That fat girls easily become objects of ridicule.

In reality, I was laughing and smiling because I loved them,

But no one, including I myself, would ever forgive me.

To this day, I deserve no forgiveness.

And yet, I would like to ask: Are cows and sows so terrible?

I am terrible, but cows and sows and fat girls are not terrible.