Friday, January 28, 2011
Proofreader's Pain
Intensity knocks on my door. What is this, what is this sound? I have lost most of my grammar. No words can say. My worst enemy is authenticity, and my sweetest friend honesty. Authenticity dictates; honesty loosens. When the grammatical universe falls apart, there is nothing but debris and oily water. How unsure of herself or himself can a person be? That must depend largely on the shape of one's linguistic universe. They never told me America, France, Togo &c. did not exist except as faceless egos jostling against one another in tears. I do not feel betrayed, but do feel bad for the globe, whose fate is to misrepresent continually the shape of the world and at the same time keep silent about its own fatal errors. Where art thou, proofreader(s) of the globe?
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I've enjoyed reading a few of your recent posts this morning. I was pleasantly surprised by how personal they sound and resonate, but to be honest, I don't understand what you mean with "authenticity" here. The way I understand authenticity is that it doesn't dictate. The they-world tries to dictate the form our lives should take. Authenticity is the desire to decide our lives ourselves. Of course, striking out alone in an effort to be authentically oneself within the world dominated by others can be frightening and lonely at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! Perhaps, my "authenticity" is closer in meaning to your "they-world," whereas your "authenticity" may be closer in meaning to my "honesty." For me, authenticity more often than not turns into a guise, whether internally or externally, that often provides the necessary protection like a hard shell, but with certain costs. Enemies are not always so bad, either; they teach us humility and caution, as much as they may hurt us, with or without intention. Je suis un autre, ou je suis l'autre? Who is the authentic self in relation to (an)other(s)?
ReplyDeleteIt appears you're right that your honesty seems close to my authenticity. It seems to me that the possibilities open to me are more or less presented by the they-world, and yet to act authentically, I am faced with choosing from among them the most appropriate option for myself. Under those circumstances, it's very difficult to find true authenticity, and sometimes it may seem like the they-world is an enemy. Should I choose the inauthentic choices provided me, I may live within the safety provided by the they-world, thereby giving up my own responsibility for myself. But if I choose the same option for different reasons, it might be the most authentic choice.
ReplyDeleteRight now I think that the only way to be truly authentic (or honest?) is to be somehow creative. Not only does expressing myself creatively seem authentic, but it might provide an example, a challenge, for others to live more authentically. Of course, I need to work on my creative output. . .
Agree. I think the authentic (or honest) self can continue to grow and change, and not always in a predictable or preconceived fashion. Securing (or seeking) that very room for change and growth - that extra legroom - is where creativity comes in. And creativity is as much about input as output - it's a way of life, or just "a way," a-way in my heart that feels so far and so close at the same time. Time flows differently where there is creativity, so while one needs to focus (though in a relaxed state), there's no need to rush.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I didn't notice right away that you'd replied. I love thinking about creativity, because I don't think it's possible to live without being creative. Of course, I consider work in academics and business just as creative as, say, art, music, or literature. In most cases it's a positive engagement with the world and a subtle challenging of the status quo, because creativity inevitably creates change. The reason I feel I need to focus on my output, however, is a lack of focus due to too many interests. I have so many ideas in a flurry inside my head that I'm a bit overwhelmed and don't really have the time right now to do most of them justice. But you're very right. I shouldn't rush ahead of myself.
ReplyDeleteOnly river currents are allowed to rush. But the river itself never rushes. (Okay, I just made that up.)
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